Fuck Yeah Josh Lyman

CJ Cregg: Oh Josh?
Josh Lyman: Yeah?
CJ Cregg: The federal page of The Washington Post just called Carol to confirm that you’re the Josh Lyman who stated on an internet website that the White House could order a GAO review of anything it wants.
Josh Lyman: Without threatening the separation of powers is what I was saying.
CJ Cregg: You posted on a website?!
Josh Lyman: I was communicating with the people.
CJ Cregg: Really?
Josh Lyman: CJ, it’s a crazy place. It’s… it’s got this dictatorial leader who I’m sure wears a muumuu and chain smokes Parliaments.
CJ Cregg: What did you go there for in the first place?
Josh Lyman: It’s called LemonLyman.com
CJ Cregg: Let me explain something to you, this is sort of my field. The people on these sites: they’re the cast of One Flew Over the Cookoo’s Nest. The muumuu wearing Parliament smoker? That’s Nurse Ratched. When Nurse Ratched’s unhappy the patients are unhappy. You? You’re McMurphy! You swoop in there with your card games and your fishing trips…
Josh Lyman: I didn’t swoop in! I came in exactly the same way everybody else did.
CJ Cregg: Well, now I’m telling you to open the ward room window and climb on out before they give you a pre-frontal lobotomy and I have to smother you with a pillow.
Josh Lyman: You’re Chief Brom…
CJ Cregg: I’m Chief Bromden yes at this particular moment. I’m assigning an intern from the press office to that website. They’re going to check it every night before they go home. If they discover you’ve been there, I’m going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass…what?!
Josh Lyman: Well, technically, I outrank you…
CJ Cregg: So far up your ass!

(Source: aafarensis)

whendoiturnbackintoapumpkin:

“You’ve got to get happy, Donna! We just won the Illinois primary! Come dance with me!”
“No, Josh. No… Josh, your father died.”

— The West Wing 2x02 ‘In The Shadow Of Two Gunmen, Part II’

lindcherry:

JOSH: Good evening, Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES: Good evening. You brought friendly faces.
JOSH: Sir?
HOYNES: You brought friendly faces. That was considerate. You’re Joe Quincy?
QUINCY: Yes, sir.
HOYNES: This is your first day?
QUINCY: Yes, sir.
HOYNES: Well, they’re going to put you picture up someplace. You’re going to get honored at a luncheon. We were just meeting in here. I have a bilateral commission with the Vice President of Egypt. It’s in Cairo this year. We see how legal and financial systems can attract foreign investments, so look out for ShopEgypt.org, I suppose. And you’re going to tell me I’m not going to Cairo.
JOSH: Mr. Vice President, have you been having an affair with Helen Baldwin while here at the White House?
TOBY: He’s asking because…
HOYNES: I should hit you in the face.
TOBY: He’s asking because…
HOYNES: I know why he’s asking. I know why he’s asking. I understand why you’re here. I’ve spoken with C.J. [pause] Yes. And I like to show off. I… said things. I said I’d seen proof of life on Mars. I said I’d intervened at the Justice Department to put 100,000 computers into classrooms, which I thought made me sound like a good guy. [to Quincy] What, did you hear a rumour once?
QUINCY: Yes, sir.
HOYNES: And you saw Helen had a book deal, you knew she must have teased them with something. It’s a tell-all. Couple of items in the gossip columns. Maybe the gossip guy was the Science Editor’s contact?
QUINCY: Yes, sir.
HOYNES: Well, you earned your money today. This could have been bad, but you found it early. What do I do now?
QUINCY: Sir, I’m an Associate Counsel, and this is my first day. I’ve spoken to Oliver Babish, who’s gotten on a plane…
HOYNES: What do I do now?
QUINCY: I think you’ve got to talk to your family now, sir.
HOYNES: Thanks.
C.J.: Thank you, Mr. Vice Presidnet.
TOBY: Thank you, Mr. Vice President.
JOSH: Thank you, sir.

The West Wing, Life On Mars, Season 4 Episode 21

Can’t we talk about my baby Josh? How hurt he is? He doesn’t say ‘Thank you Mr. VP’, he’s saying ‘Sir’. And his face? He needs a hug. He’s the one who knows Hoynes the best, he knows he could be a great President. And he would have gone with him after Bartlet, he would have done everything. At first, Hoynes was presented as ‘evil’, the bad guy compared to Bartlet but he is not. He is different. He is not the same man. He looks so old, like something had been broken inside him. I’m gonna miss him.

JANICE I’m not obsessed. I’m just a fan, and I care.
JOSH What’s your name again?
JANICE Janice.
JOSH I’m a fan. I’m a sports fan, I’m a music fan and I’m a Star Trek fan. All of them. But here’s what I don’t do. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar: “Let’s list our ten favorite episodes. Let’s list our least favorite episodes. Let’s list our favorite galaxies. Let’s make a chart to see how often our favorite galaxies appear in our favorite episodes. What Romulan would you most like to see coupled with a Cardassian and why? Let’s spend a weekend talking about Romulans falling in love with Cardassians and then let’s do it again.” That’s not being a fan. That’s having a fetish. And I don’t have a problem with that, except you can’t bring your hobbies in to work, okay?

(Source: unpopularcoworker)

DONNA What did [Jack] say?
JOSH He said he thought it was cool that you were looking for someone to trade votes.
DONNA And what did you say?
JOSH I told him there are plenty more where that came from.
DONNA What do you mean?
JOSH I told him about Ilie Nastase.
DONNA Why?
JOSH What do you mean?
DONNA Why did you tell him that?
JOSH I thought it went with the vote swapping theme.
DONNA No, it goes with the crazy theme. What else did you tell him?
JOSH The scented Minsk candles.
DONNA Josh…
JOSH These are endearing stories.
DONNA If you know me, if you know me well, if you already like me, these are not stories for instance, I would have told you when I was trying to get the job.
JOSH When you were trying to get the job, you were pretending that you’d already gotten the job, so it’s not like your underwear at an art gallery was going to change my mind.
DONNA You told him about the underwear?!
JOSH Again, endearing.
DONNA Karen Cahill had me flummoxed. Did you tell him I was flummoxed?
JOSH I think the underwear on the floor speaks for itself.
DONNA You have to go back.
JOSH Why?
DONNA ‘Cause he going to think I’m flaky.
JOSH Maybe, but he’s not going to care.
DONNA Why?
JOSH Guys will go out with anybody.
DONNA That hasn’t been my experience. go back.

(Source: unpopularcoworker)